Writing Challenge/Practice

Prompt- The hallway was silent.

Time allotted for challenge- 15 min

 

 

The hallway is silent. The shadows huddled in the corners are black and concealing. I run my fingers over the switch and flip on the light.

Nothing. I lean against the wall, my body prickling with sweat and nervousness.

Thinking back to the point when I was jerked from my sleep, I am positive I heard the mechanics of a door turning. The excess of bolts and deadlocks mocking my supposed assurance. How could I think for a moment that any action could bar him?

My bare feet sink into the carpet as I pad over to the end of the hall. The weight of my revolver lends strength to my illusion of safety.

I see him. His body is draped casually across the lumpy couch. I lightly touch my weapon but decide to leave it there. Adjusting my shirt to disguise the movement, I meet his gaze.

His eyes are locked on me. “No need for violence tonight.” I curse myself for my careless gesture. He sees everything.

I glare at the mask that shields his face. Coward.

Despite his words, he is cradling a gun of his own, turning it over in his gloved hands. I wait for him to relay the instructions. “Leave this,” he draws a small envelope from his jacket and places it on the coffee table, “in his office.” I go over and pick it up. I nod and he leaves as quickly as he came.

Soon after his hateful form is out of sight I sink to the floor. As I grip the table leg I can feel the beginnings of a fever break across my skin. The paper crumples under the pressure of my constricting fist.

I glance at the front of the sealed envelope and as usual the victim’s name and address is scrawled in red ink in the corner.

– RJ

 

Feel free to participate or critique. :)

 

Credit for prompt idea- http://riverkentvalley.polyvore.com/

 

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Writing Challenge/Practice

  1. Fifteen minutes? There is no way I could make it through this challenge – I can barely leave a comment in fifteen minutes! Although I’ve always had the gift of *speaking* extempore, it’s rarely captured for posterity. You are very brave to hit “publish” (and leave it there!) Talent emboldens, no?

    Love these: shadows huddled; body prickling; lumpy couch; red ink; “I can feel the beginnings of a fever break across my skin”

    Detail skewed toward the poetic, offset by the mundane seems to roll off your fingers – since I doubt 15 minutes leaves much time for editing or rethinking.

    I also like the sense of immediacy of changing the tense of the prompt to the present — and the way you play with cadence. “I see him.” A lesser writer would have added words to that moment. These three alone set up the next, longer, sentences nicely.

    GOOD JOB! I’m inspired.

    btw- thanks for liking my “Top Ten LOUSY Product Designs . . .” After reading your work, I appreciate it even more.

    xx,
    mgh
    Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com
    – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

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